How to Comfort a Bereaved Friend or Relative
Thirty years after her son’s death, my friend still smarts when she remembers all the people who pointed out how lucky she was to have two other children. Another friend, whose brother recently died, grumbles that everyone keeps telling her it will get better with time. Having received my share of insensitive, even hurtful, comments after my son, Michael, died 13 years ago, I certainly understand. Even people with good intentions often say and do the wrong thing.
If you want to comfort a grieving friend or relative, your primary task is to validate his/her feelings. Don’t say anything that minimizes those feelings — which, in effect, “de-legitimizes” them.
WHAT NOT TO DO
I’ve found that “de-legitimizers” can be divided into six categories… Continue reading
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